Letting it out may be bad for your emotional health. Many people assume that sharing feelings openly and often is a positive ideal that promotes mental health. But some social critics and psychologists now conclude that repressing one’s feelings may do more good than venting emotions.
"A small number of researchers are taking an empirical look at the general assumption that speaking out and declaring one’s feelings is better than holding them in," writes Christina Sommers, a resident fellow at the American Enterprise Institute.
At Suffilk University, psychologist Jane Bybee classified high-school students on the basis of their self-awareness: "sensitizers" were extremely aware of their internal states, "repressors" focused little on themselves, and "intermediates" occupied the middle range. Bybee then collected student evaluations of themselves and each other, along with teacher evaluations of the students. On the whole, the repressors were more socially and academically successful than their more "sensitized" classmates. Bybee speculated that repressed people, not emoters, may have a better balance of moods.
In a study at Catholic University in Washington, D.C., researcher George Bonarmo tested the assumption that, in order to recover mental health, people need to vent negative emotions by discussing their feelings openly. Bonanno and other researchers found that, among adolescent girls who had suffered sexual abuse, those who "showed emotional avoidance" were healthier than those who more openly expressed grief or anger.
One study of Holocaust survivors supports Bonanno in suggesting that verbalizing strong emotions may not improve a person’s mental health. Researchers found that Holocaust survivors who were encouraged to talk about their experiences in the war fared worse than repressors. They concluded that repression was not pathological response to Holocaust experience and that "talking through" the atrocities failed to being closure to the survivors.
Sommers note that in many societies it has been considered normal to repress private feelings, and that "in most cultures stoicism and reticence are valued, while the free expression of emotions is deemed a personal shortcoming." She is concerned that pushing someone to be "sensitizers" may also create a preoccupation with self that excludes outside interests. Sommers is particularly critical of educational approaches that attempt to encourage self-discovery and self-esteem through excessive "openness".
Healthy stoicism should not be confused with the emotional numbness that may be brought on by post-traumatic stress disorder. Most people experiencing such traumas as war, assault, or natural disaster can benefit from immediate counseling, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. According to Jane Bybee, "sensitizers" were ______.